Monday, May 11, 2009

Where do I start?

Okay, so I was a little afraid to begin the blog because my sudden freedom was a bit much for me to handle at first.  I enjoyed all the male attention and then some.  Whew!  It was too much for a lioness cub thrown out to the wild to handle.  You know how they don't put wild animals out into their natural habitats right away because they are not ready to fend for themselves?  Well, that was me...but I think I learned rather quickly as my wounds healed from my failed marriage I tried to filled my wounds with attention and affection from others.

Guess what?  THAT DIDN'T WORK!!!  But it's cool, you live and you learn.  I've found a way to navigate through the male candy shop without opening my cookie jar.  My first experience after my divorce was with a guy who was really tall and had the most beautiful locs (I'll share my fascination of locs with you another day).  He was a friend of my friend's boyfriend, we met for the first time, he looked at me like I was a steak on a hot plate at Ruth's Crisp and it was over after that.  I had been living on my own for the first time in a lovely apartment outside the city and to be honest, I was beyond horny.  He made me breakfast and let's just say brought me great joy well into the morning daylight.  I couldn't remember my ex's name that day!

What I learned from my tall long-haired brother that summer was that "just kickin' it" is not my style.  At least not when I'm trying to heal my aching heart by bringing someone else in the mix.  But it was all good.  I cannot say he ever disrespected me or did anything I didn't want him to.  Yeah, certainly never did anything I didn't want him to! (big smile)

I'm still struggling with this though, women need and desire physical contact just as much if not more than men do, yet we just cannot handle being physical and walking away like men.  What kind of curse is that?  I mean seriously!  

Well, it's late and I've had a long weekend, which made for a long Monday at work today.  Until another day, Queen Daneen says, "Keeping your cookies in the jar is totally up to you."