Monday, May 11, 2009

Where do I start?

Okay, so I was a little afraid to begin the blog because my sudden freedom was a bit much for me to handle at first.  I enjoyed all the male attention and then some.  Whew!  It was too much for a lioness cub thrown out to the wild to handle.  You know how they don't put wild animals out into their natural habitats right away because they are not ready to fend for themselves?  Well, that was me...but I think I learned rather quickly as my wounds healed from my failed marriage I tried to filled my wounds with attention and affection from others.

Guess what?  THAT DIDN'T WORK!!!  But it's cool, you live and you learn.  I've found a way to navigate through the male candy shop without opening my cookie jar.  My first experience after my divorce was with a guy who was really tall and had the most beautiful locs (I'll share my fascination of locs with you another day).  He was a friend of my friend's boyfriend, we met for the first time, he looked at me like I was a steak on a hot plate at Ruth's Crisp and it was over after that.  I had been living on my own for the first time in a lovely apartment outside the city and to be honest, I was beyond horny.  He made me breakfast and let's just say brought me great joy well into the morning daylight.  I couldn't remember my ex's name that day!

What I learned from my tall long-haired brother that summer was that "just kickin' it" is not my style.  At least not when I'm trying to heal my aching heart by bringing someone else in the mix.  But it was all good.  I cannot say he ever disrespected me or did anything I didn't want him to.  Yeah, certainly never did anything I didn't want him to! (big smile)

I'm still struggling with this though, women need and desire physical contact just as much if not more than men do, yet we just cannot handle being physical and walking away like men.  What kind of curse is that?  I mean seriously!  

Well, it's late and I've had a long weekend, which made for a long Monday at work today.  Until another day, Queen Daneen says, "Keeping your cookies in the jar is totally up to you."

Monday, December 15, 2008

So what, you think I'm beautiful!

I have been single for two years, well almost two years and I find it very interesting that men like to tell me how beautiful I am.  Let's not get the wrong idea, I think I'm beautiful, cute, pretty and feminine and I believe that I'm attractive.  But so what?  There is so much more to me beyond my outer exterior.  I am a woman and not a perfect woman.  I am generally in a good mood, I look for the lighter side of life even when I find myself in tough situations.  I would describe myself as a cool lady, with a sense of humor who loves life and living in the moment.  I am pretty easy to get along with which is what I would think most men would be attracted to.  But why am I still single?  Ugh! 

I know that I am still a work in progress, which also means I'm not exactly ready for my mate to come along.  And I'm okay with that, but it doesn't help to have men talkin' junk to me but not backing it up with anything.  Maybe that's just it, they are all full of themselves and have nothing to offer me but talk.  Hmmm...this leads me to believe that there is nothing wrong with me they recognize they are not up to my level.  It's up to me to see through their crap and move on.

Is this what I have to look forward to?  Wading through the b.s.?

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Hello?  Is anybody out there?

I am starting this blog to help me get out all the stuff happening to me that I don't understand.  I'm a young recently divorced lady with no children living in a by city.  I met my husband really young and spent all of my twenties with him, which basically means that I didn't date, go out much or do all the things young chicas do in their twenties.  Now I'm trying to make my way in this world as a single woman.  I don't want to waste this "second chance" at a different life on chasing after love or a relationship because I'm afraid to be alone.  But my heart can't help but desire companionship.  

Maybe writing about my adventures will help me deal and find a way to enjoy single life and find my purpose.  Hopefully you will find some of my adventures and stories funny or inspirational to finding your own inner strength as I'm on a journey to find mine.

So with that, Queen Daneen says, "Live each day to the fullest and don't let fear stop you from what your heart desires."